First comes love…

You’ve heard the rhym ‘first comes love, then comes marriage….’  Before I became mom I became Mrs., which alone was quite the plot twist in my life.  I had forever been the free spirit, the adventurer, bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend.  Finding ‘the one’ and getting married was really irrelevant to me when it came to my future.  In all honesty before meeting my husband I could have seen myself without a family of my own at all.  I was more self obsorbed before my husband, that I know for sure.  I spent all my energy worrying only about myself and how I could get ahead.  It lead to countless failed relationships and friendships and left me cold hearted and lonely.

I left college in a blaze of glory leaving a path of destruction behind me.  I destroyed every friendship or relationship I had made over the 2 years I spent at Doane College in a matter of weeks consisting of nothing but bad, selfish decisions.  I wasn’t a monster, I was a victim in many ways as well but that doesn’t excuse the choices I made, and I deserved to lose many friendships.  I had suffered a miscarriage the week before returning to classes that year, my emotions were unstable and I felt alone, sad, and mad.  This resulted in some of the worst decisions of my life, and having to leave school and return home to work on my mental health.

Then in true cliché fashion when I was at my very lowest, lost in the darkness, I met someone who was nothing but light to me.  He saw me through my struggle, and he let me see myself for the first time in a long time.  Even though everything of logic told me it was too soon after the destruction to pursue a relationship, and that I was nowhere near fully healed as a person; I couldn’t stay away from someone who brought so much light to my dark place.  He loved me even when I wasn’t at my best, he saw through  the darkness and inspired me to become the best version of myself.  He made me want a marriage, and a family, and a future filled with love over success.

Donovan and I started dating in November 2011 and were married in September 2013.  He balances me in so many ways and seeing him become a father has only grown my love for him exponentially.  Without him I wouldn’t be who I am today and my motherhood journey is greatly influenced by him and his love on a daily basis.  You will continue to hear more about our relationship and the many ways in which he supports me and my dreams.  For those of you reading this who have categorized yourself as a free spirit, or independent woman who doesn’t need a family beware that ‘the one’ sometimes comes when your not looking for it, and changes everything.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s