If it had been up to my husband we would have gotten pregnant on our honeymoon but I found myself not feeling ready right away. I just felt like I needed to prepare for motherhood, not sure what these preparations were I had in mind but I just didn’t feel ready. Donovan, being the kind and patient man he is, waited silently and didn’t push it with me. It was about 8 months into our marriage when my brother announced that I’d be getting a little niece or nephew that things changed for me. I instantly knew I wanted to raise our kids together so Donovan and I needed to get busy!
I was prepared to wait since I had read it usually takes 6 months to a year to get pregnant when trying. Luckily the stars were aligned and we got pregnant the first month we tried. I took a test at 3 weeks pregnant because I felt so terrible, I just knew something was up. I was so surprised to see the positive so early. I remember running into my sisters room, who lived with me at the time, and standing in her doorway proudly holding the test exclaiming, ‘holy crap!’ I instantly texted my mom and husband because I just couldn’t keep it in, I wish I had waited and surprised them in some fun way but I had to share this excitement.
We were going to visit my husbands family when I was about 6 weeks. We were trying to keep it a secret still since I was so early but I knew one of my sister in laws would know the second I declined a drink. Sure enough she asked me straight up if I was pregnant and I went red in the face and just said ‘that’s something to ask Donovan.’ By 8 weeks the entire family knew and I was starting to feel a lot more than excitement with the pregnancy. I was sick as a dog! I could barely eat and was so exhausted I just wanted to stay in bed all day. I was so far from those glowing pregnant woman expectations, honestly it was a huge success if I left the house at all outside of school. Putting on something other than my husbands basketball shorts and undershirts was an event reserved only for special occasions.
Pregnancy never felt magical to me, it felt miserable. There are things that I miss and hope I will get to experience again one day; like the kicks and the sense of comfort knowing I was keeping my baby snug and safe in my belly. I was due on February 2nd 2015 and by December 2014 I was done! By week 38 baby had reached 8lbs, we had settled on a name, finished the nursery, washed all his little clothes, and mentally prepared for a baby. At this point I was praying everyday that Karson would come. I walked around the block in our neighborhood endlessly every night, talking on the phone to anyone who would distract me.
Finally on January 27th 2015 contractions started. I thought this was it and was so excited, until I went to see by OB. He explained I was still only at 2cm dilated and my water had not broken yet so we would have to wait this out. He sent me home with some sleeping pills in hopes I would get a good nights sleep and the contractions would stop. They didn’t, I contracted at home, getting almost no sleep until January 29th when my OB finally agreed to induce me. We rushed to labor and delivery eager to get the little nugget out and alerted everyone to the beginning of Karson’s big entrance into the world.
Upon entering Labor and Delivery we were brushed off into triage because there was an overflow of mothers in active labor and they needed the rooms. Finally after hours in triage a room opened up and we moved on over to the room we’d deliver Karson in. By this time my mom had showed up too and we were ready to get my water broken. That’s when I stand up to pee one last time on my own before starting active labor and I feel my water break. I will never forget the feeling and looking up at my mom so embarrassed and saying ‘I’m leaking…’ then realizing it was my water and saying ‘my water broke!’. It was time to get this baby out!